Obama Supports Gay Marriage…So What?

I wrote this piece for The Next Great Generation, a Boston Globe blog for 20 somethings with something to say. Since posting on May 11, it has received over 2,500 views and has been shared over 500 times. Here is a link to the post, and full text below:

As a queer woman, I am not jumping for joy at Obama’s “personal acceptance” of gay marriage. My girlfriend went so far as to call it a “slap in the face” and said,  “I’m very wary of applauding a leader tokenizing me and my people to make him look electable.” We have been getting calls from many straight friends congratulating us on the victory and saying how excited we must be. We are not excited.

I recognize Obama is the first president in our nation’s history to come out in support of same sex marriage, which is monumental. However, his personal opinion does not change policy. The president reinforced his belief that states still should have the right to determine same sex marriage laws. In doing so, Obama articulated he accepts the legitimacy of states like North Carolina subjecting LGBT rights to popular vote. Author Sweta Vikram says, “Maybe I’m a cynic, but President Obama’s support sounds like a calculated political move.”

Where would we be if states could still deny inter-racial couples the right to marry? Same sex marriage is a civil rights issue, but the President has made it clear that it is still not an important enough issue to make a constitutional law protecting the rights of LGBT people everywhere. People often employ the “better of two evils” argument when supporting Obama, but musician Cade DeBois calls this “ideological bullying.”

If the President really wanted to show his support for LGBT rights and prove this isn’t a calculated move in an election year, he would use his power to make same sex marriage legal on a national level. I’m sick of Obama patting himself on the back for repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and for repealing support of the Defense of Marriage Act. His campaign website even has a nice rainbow map of everything his administration has done for the LGBT community. Obama seems to be saying to LGBT and socially liberal voters, “See? Look at all these great things I’m doing for you, now stop complaining about my immigration policies and economic fumbles.”

Executive Director of GLAD, Lee Swislow, pointed out, “It remains to be seen what the President’s statement will mean for our causes generally, and for our DOMA lawsuits in particular.”

While I personally do not believe in the institution of marriage, I recognize that it is important to many people in my community to achieve. And from an economic perspective it is crucial that LGBT people can get the same rights and benefits in a relationship as our heterosexual counterparts currently receive. Afrofeminist writer SpectaSpeaks says, “Marriage may be a flawed institution. But too much rides on it for us not to care. Let everyone get it, then we can get rid of it.”

My anger transcends politics. People expect me to kiss the feet of someone who just now decided to vocalize his approval for me to love who I want to love. This is something I have known my entire life, and I don’t need a person in the Oval Office to give me permission. So thanks for the personal acceptance of my lifestyle, Mr. President, but put your power where your proclamations are.

Bitch Magazine: Because Your Brain is Your Most Important Body Part

Looking at only the first page of Bitch Spring 2012 “The Frontier Issue”- a publication I had never picked up before – I already knew this was no mainstream or ordinary women magazine. As I scanned the table of contents, articles highlighting traditionally marginalized minorities jumped out.  Phrases of “it takes a village” and “feminist summer school” got me excited to read the contents cover to cover. I looked at the sponsors and saw the words “menstrual cup”, “progressive pleasure” and “vibrators” and already knew that the pages wouldn’t be filled with scantily clad women selling jeans, weight loss pills, and expensive cosmetics. There would be no beauty myths promoted in this magazine, no cult of femininity, no phony sex tips, and nothing espousing a “right” and narrow way of expressing my gender and sexuality.

Unlike magazines in mainstream circulation, Bitch does not succumb to – or accept – the widespread social and cultural domination of the hetero-patriarchy. Instead, Bitch Media – comprised of the magazine, blog, website and events – is a non-profit organization with a mission, “To provide and encourage an engaged, thoughtful feminist response to mainstream media and popular culture […] and celebrate the feminist culture-makers who are transforming the media with their unique contributions.” (Bitch Website). This analysis is divided into subjects – Business Ethics & Target Audience, Advertising, and Content – each demonstrating how Bitch shatters the traditions of mainstream magazines.

Putting Education to the Test

I just started babysitting a four year-old Israeli-American boy named Yakir. After reading/writing about the toy industry and mass media promoting gendered spheres of play, I was curious to personally see what happens when kids actually got their hands on the toys.

Yakir is the youngest of four children, so he gets the joy of playing with three generations of toys, plus new ones of his own. The family’s living room is scattered with things to play with. LEGO bins, stacks of games, arts and crafts, dinosaur bones, a toy kitchenette, and shelves of Jewish and children books.

The first game we played was LEGO zoo, and Yakir created an elaborate story with the animals and police cars and he constructed a fort out of the classic LEGO bricks. Each piece had a purpose and his story involved adventure, some violence, and families- he made the seal a mom, cats into babies, and an alligator was the dad.The violence didnt really surprise me, but I still asked him questions about why the characters had to attack each other.

We then played with the mini kitchenette, which was his sisters toy. He sat me down and said he had to wash the dishes before cooking. Can he come to my house, please? He then made me an entire meal and told me stories while cooking. Most media and toy products make the kitchen a female sphere. But Yakir didn’t care and wanted to play chef.

Yakir also enjoyed coloring pictures, making story books, telling me about dinosaurs, and playing prince/princess. I would ask him questions to challenge some of his assumptions like when he says, “The Prince has to go out and do official business but you (the princess) stay here and put this necklace on and color.” I asked him why can’t the princess do official business too? I felt like a sneaky feminist planting subversive thoughts in his mind.

Toys Aisle Action Project

SPARK Toy Aisle Action Project

I just wrote a paper about LEGO Friends, a new collection made just for girls. This set, full of pink and purple bricks, follows the story of four friends who live in HeartLake City. The buildings in the city include a cafe, houses, a vet clinic, a bakery, and a fashion design studio. There is little-to-no imagination involved in assembling the sets, and the stories are already so detailed that the girls barely have to come up with something on their own.

The group Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge or  “SPARK” has created a  new action campaign to protest the very blatant gender bifurcation of toystores. The toys that are socially acceptable for boys to play with are all on one side of the aisle, and girls toys are in pink and on the other side of the store. There have been numerous articles written that criticize the gendering of childrens toys, as this division serves to reinforce dangerous and deeply-held social beliefs about appropriate play for boys/girls.

View more images submitted to the SPARK Toy Aisle Action project here.

Here is a great article that talks more about ENDING the toy stores determination to segregate boys and girls appropriate games.

Meme Mania

I have seen this popular meme style popping up all over Facebook and Twitter this week. The idea that different people have radically different perceptions about themselves than other people do is true and hilarious. This meme exists for “Lesbians” “Metalheads” “Jocks” “Professors” “Librarians” and the list goes infinitely on. The last square of “what I actually do” is generally accurate, adding to the humor. I think these memes serve an important political purpose – to prove that different people see the world in different ways, and everyone thinks they are right, and generally nobody is.

Nancy Drew Probably Couldnt Solve Cosmo’s Body Language Decoder

If I haven’t made it obvious yet, I am not the type of gal to purchase a Cosmopolitan magazine. But, I wanted intriguing content for this project so I took the plunge and visited their website. (Disclaimer: I figured I’m not giving money to the company directly, so its okay.)

Cosmo’s website is branded as “The Online Women’s Magazine for Fashion, Sex Advice, Dating Tips and Celebrity News.” Its cover stories today include: Blind Date Horror Stories, Making Art While Having Sex, Score Rhianna’s Arms. There was also a photo gallery of A Cosmo Body Language Decoder.

The first thing that struck me about this “Decoder” was how many different poses there were to de-code! There are 5 different scenarios given, so after the reader (Cosmo Nancy Drew) chooses her context, she then has 11 different possible positions her mate could be in. I am imagining a girl on a date hopelessly flipping through her mental body-language-decoder flashcards and comparing them to her new romantic hopeful while asking him to hold still. “Ok his shoulders are tilted at a 45 degree angle toward me, and his smile looks like the right side is higher, ooh and his eyebrows are raising. He likes me, right?” If fall under the “In Bed Together” category and the lights are already off, forget about it.

My next shock came as I realized I could switch the pictures with the descriptions and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Observe 3 decoder cards in the “First Meeting Category:

All men pictured are, in fact, holding a piercing gaze while lifting their eyebrows and half smiling. But, the descriptions of the poses offer 3 opposite meanings: he is just playing games, he wants a no-strings fling, or he is definitely in to you.

This is problematic and I’m sure very confusing to the girls who take Cosmo Guides as their dating manifesta. Problematic because many of the “tips” provided give the male full control of situations, rely heavily on non-verbal consent cues, and encourage female submission. One tip encourages women to let their partners pinch their butts in public, saying it shows teasing playfulness and confidence. More like ownership and objectification. Men not only get the “go-ahead” to non-consensually touch their girlfriends butts in public, but women are being told to accept it happily. This reinforces the male dominance/female submission dogma of American advertising and social culture.

If someone is questioning why dating in America now seems stranger than ever, look no farther than your local Cosmopolitan magazine.

Daria, My Newfound Hero

I never watched Daria as a kid, we weren’t really allowed to watch TV. But one of my housemates is obsessed with the show and said I’d love it, so I figured I’d take some time to watch it.

She was right, I am in love. The show ran from 1997-2002 on MTV, and Daria as a character originally appeared in the show Beavis and Butthead, as the “smart female and foil” character to the male-centric program.

The first thing I noticed while watching Daria was that the family’s car emblem is an anarchy symbol. Something that most teens probably wouldnt notice, but I noticed right away. I realized that if I had watched Daria as a teenager, most of the jokes would have gone right over my head. But, as a feminist activist adult, I was agreeing with all of the show’s attempts to challenge traditional hegemonic patriarchal institutions.

There are episodes satirizing race, sexuality, feminism, relationships and American politics, but each episode makes the messages enjoyable to a younger audience while still relevant to an older viewer. I find myself laughing with the smooth-talking glasses-clad heroine and sending her high-fives through my computer screen as she continues to smash cultural norms.